Why It Is Great To Be A Geek!

AKA – How I Learned to Cope With My Nerd-Shame

Hi. My name is Jeff, and I am a geek.

Three and a half years ago I launched The Jerd.

I did it because I wanted to help people (more specifically my fellow geeks and nerds) eat better, get in-shape, live longer and happier lives, and feel better about themselves.

I wanted people who avoided gym class (or any physical activities) like the plague as a kid to have a resource to help them take those necessary first steps on the road to fitness.

A resource that was geared to them, with references and analogies that resonated.

I wanted to build a safe space, devoid of judgement or any negative stereotypes… whether they be about geeks or jocks… where people could realize that the two things are not mutually exclusive (It still twists my Underoos that people make Geek vs Jock into some Samurai vs Ninja struggle,) and that you can live a healthy and geeky life!

I wanted The Jerd to be like the Jedi Academy on Coruscant.

Not just because I want a lightsaber but so we can wax poetic together about why Batman is so important, or how much we love Raiders of the Lost Ark, all the while learning about exercise and how to eat healthy.

So today I want to break down what being a geek really is about, some of the different ways geekery can manifest, why it is awesome to be a geek, and why I avoided identifying myself as one for almost 25 years.

While this article might be a little more self-indulgent than most, I hope you get something out of it; whether you are a geek or not.

And of course I want to know what you think too…

So make sure you speak up once I finish rambling!

Nerd? Geek? What Does That Really Mean?

I am not going to get into the whole nerd vs geek debate.

Not gonna do it.

I use the terms interchangeably and that is all I want to say about it. Cool? Cool.

Now that we have that out of the way, here is great explanation of what being a geek means.

“Being a geek is all about being honest about what you enjoy and not being afraid to demonstrate that affection. It means never having to play it cool about how much you like something. It’s basically a license to proudly emote on a somewhat childish level rather than behave like a supposed adult. Being a geek is extremely liberating.” – Simon Pegg

Notice there were no references to Star Wars, Star Trek, computers, comic books, or Dungeons & Dragons?

Geeks are geeks because they take their love of something to the next level!

They learn everything there is to know about a topic. They look at the things they love like an onion, peeling back layer after layer… they dig way below the surface and find every hidden nugget of information about it.

Now, does it often involve adolescent power fantasies? Things like:

• Superhero Comics – Mistreated teens, or victims of tragedy, putting on costumes and punching evil in the face
• Science Fiction Movies – Future realities where science and knowledge are the valued over all else
• Fantasy Novels – Common folk finding out they have epic destinies awaiting them
• Roleplaying Games – Developing a powerful alter-ego and being the hero of an ongoing story

Sure.

But, in my completely unprofessional opinion, I think that is mostly due to the unfortunate realities of growing up socially awkward, or less physically capable, than your peers.

Which leads me right into this uncomfortable topic…

Nerd-Shame

This might get a little long and personal, so strap in…

From about age 9 to age 16 I was bullied.

Mercilessly.

For being small. For wearing glasses. For knowing more about JRR Tolkein novels than baseball. For drawing superheroes and wanting to be a comic book artist. For loving Star Wars long after it stopped being cool.

I was teased, ridiculed, had artwork ruined, and books torn up more times than I can count.

I was pushed, my eyes blackened, and punched in the face on a regular basis.

On one particularly fun day I even had a tooth knocked out!

It kind of sucked. #UnderstatementOfTheYear

All because I loved different stuff than everyone else.

Growing up, adults always told you how important it was to be true to yourself. To not give in to peer pressure. How many of you heard this nugget of wisdom from your parents?

“If everyone else jumped off a bridge, would you do it too?”

While that is an important thing to think about as a kid, and I 100% believe in my heart that you should not just fall in line with the masses, the reality is this – if you fully immerse yourself in an interest that isn’t mainstream, you will probably be ridiculed for it!

Society, as a whole, wants you to be like everyone else.

Unfortunately the parental advice to be a special snowflake didn’t also come with a warning about that unfortunate side-effect.

Or provide me with any defense mechanisms to help me cope!

As a kid growing up in the 80s, being über passionate about anything that wasn’t the greatest common denominator meant weird looks, snide comments, getting knocked around, and being totally ostracized.

If you had geeky interests, you only shared them with a select few; and even then it was safest to do so behind closed doors, at night, while no muggles were around.

It was that kind of social abuse, and constant secrecy, that contributed to me being such a jerkface in my 20s.

To put it bluntly, I was an asshole.

I had developed so many defense mechanisms during my formative years that, once I got out of the social quagmire known as school, I couldn’t shake the fact that I thought everyone was still trying to make me feel like crap about who I was. I created social circles whose streams I refused to let cross, I developed distinct personas unique to the groups I was hanging out with…

It was extremely mentally unhealthy.

I couldn’t even seek solace on the Internet. It was still in its fledgling stages at that point, with only a relative handful of computer nerds were using it. It’s not like it is now, where you can easily find a supportive tribe to give you an outlet; dialing up on a Prodigy BBS on my 9600 bps modem wasn’t really helping my cause.

And looking back, I am embarrassed that it took me so long to get over it all.

Launching this site has been therapeutic, like Luke going into the tree on Dagobah… it made me confront my fears and realize how unproductive my mindset really was.

But I know I still have work to do.

Case in point, a little over a year ago my wife and I were out with some friends. A couple we were with asked what we were doing the following Friday night; before I could respond, my wife chimed in that we were busy because I was hosting a Dungeons and Dragons game night at our house.

And I got angry.

A 43 year-old man who proudly runs a website dedicated to nerd fitness, who hosts a long-running podcast about comic books, got angry because someone was given an unauthorized glimpse into my “secret life”.

It wasn’t my wife’s fault. And, in fact, to this day I don’t think she even realizes the wave of anxiety that her simple, innocent, comment caused me.

After a few minutes I regained my composure, and reminded myself that these were my friends; that I didn’t have to hide who I was and that I should just be comfortable with myself. That this is not the late 80s. That I am no longer the skinny, unpopular kid in glasses.

Seriously, how ridiculous is that?!?

Luckily, after a few minutes of internally bracing for some sort of negative judgement or verbal ridicule, I was able to take a deep breath and realize I was being foolish and we went on with our fun evening.

But still, when I think about hitting ‘publish’ on an article that gives a glimpse into my nerdiness, I know a twinge of apprehension is going to grip my stomach.

Dammit.

!Backwards Is This

Long story short, there is nothing healthy about living with nerd-shame.

The us vs them mentality it creates is beyond counter-productive.

I have been fighting for years to show people that being a geek and being in shape are not mutually exclusive. But there is still a lot of work to be done in breaking down those preconceived notions.

What I find interesting is that while athletes are more and more open about their love of geeky things, nerds still seem to be afraid of being identified as a jock.

It’s as if the years of avoiding physical activities, whether they be due to negative social implications or feelings of inadequacy, firmly entrenched them in a perma-state of gym avoidance.

As though working out now, later in life, would result in the same bullying they experienced as a youth; or; inexplicably, that by lifting weights and getting in shape they would somehow metamorphosize from mild-mannered nerd into raging, abusive jock.

The fact is, neither is going to happen!

First off, no-one is paying attention to you in the gym. I promise.

You can be the most out-of-shape person there, have no clue what exercises to do, and nobody is going to judge you for it. In fact, people will probably offer to help you get started!

In every gym I have ever gone to, in every martial arts school I have trained in, at every race I have run, I have found more than a handful of fellow geeks. I promise you, if you can get over the initial anxiety, joining a group of people to get fit is going to be a rewarding experience.

And do me a favor? Remember the golden rule.

“Do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” – Some smart person

All too often I see my fellow geeks and nerds ridicule, and look down upon, “meatheads” and “gym rats” for doing something they love. Sound familiar?

Enough with the redirected aggression and nerd on nerd violence please. It’s time to break the cycle of judgement.

Oh yeah, one other thing.

I also need you to get it out of your head that if you start working out you are betraying your own kind by “switching sides”!

This is not the Empire vs the Alliance we are talking about. No-one is going to yell “TRAITOR!” and come at you for bettering your quality of life.

Some of the highest level athletes I have ever known are geeks, and some of the geekiest people I know are passionate about fitness. And they are all amazing human beings!

Don’t believe me?

Read some of my chats with the likes of Olympic athlete Nick Delpopolo, personal trainer and cosplayer Mr. A, and computer programmer/Twitch gamer Ryon Day; that should settle those misconceptions pretty quickly!

I mean, how cool are those guys?

Being a Geek Is Awesome!

It has taken me a long time to get it through my thick skull, but being a nerd is great.

I wish Wil Wheaton would have said this when I was struggling to come to grips with my geeky ways:

“I think a lot of us have realized that being a nerd or a geek…is not about what you love, but how you love it. So there’s going to be a thing in your life: sports, science, reading, fashion design, building things, telling stories, or taking pictures; the way you love that thing, and the way that you find other people that love that thing in the same way you do…that’s what makes being a nerd awesome… Don’t ever let anybody tell you that the thing that you love is something that you’re not allowed to love.” – Wil Wheaton

Being a geek means finding something you love so much, and wanting to find other people to share that passion with. 

It’s about feeling mentally stimulated, being connected to your tribe, feeling alive because you love something…

When I think about it that way, it really is pretty #@$%ing awesome!

It warms my Jerd-heart to finally see people with so many different, nerdy passions getting positive media representation. The tides have turned, and no longer are people getting punched for having a Pokémon backpack, instead they are getting high-fived!

The proliferation of the Internet has made it so easy for people to seek out, and find, others with similar interests; to see that not only are they not alone, but that geeks are legion.

It also helps that celebrity, after celebrity, are “coming out” about their geeky interests. Zachary Levi, Vin Diesel, Rosario Dawson, Simon Pegg, Mila Kunis, Nicholas Cage… the list goes on and on.

Honestly, I don’t care what happened to break the dam. All I know is that I love how accepting people seem to be nowadays about geek culture (if you want an example, just take a look at the awesomeness of something like a San Diego Comic-Con.) Partially for selfish reasons, but more importantly so that the next generation can just be themselves without the associated social anxiety!

So, for me, I want to be a part of the other side of that coin of change.

Look, we are *all* weird. Everyone. So I want to help show my fellow nerds that all jocks aren’t douche-nozzles looking to make fun of you and beat you up. That you can be a geek and love all sorts of different fitness interests (power lifting, running, parkour, yoga, etc…) at the same time. That people can get fit while being 100% themselves.

That doesn’t mean you have somehow joined the dark side.

Who knows, once you start you might end up being a geek about health and fitness too!

What Kind of Geek Are You?

Even with all the positive nerd-love that is going on in the world today I still here things like this all the time –

“I’m not a geek, but I really love [insert something nerdy here].”

Hate to burst your bubble, but guess what?

You’re a geek!

Embrace it.

Love whatever it is you love, because this world would be ridiculously boring without passionate people.

I don’t care what it is.

Geek out about:

• Harry Potter
• Dungeons and Dragons
• Martial Arts
• Knitting
• Mythology
• Pro-Wrestling
• Anime
• Star Trek
• Yoga
• Cosplay
• Whatever the $#@% you want!

It is passion, and attention to detail, that creates great art. Without that spark, without that geeky devotion to something, there would be a lot less great things in our lives. Prime example – great movies like Pulp Fiction or Kill Bill would have ended up mediocre at best without Quention Tarantino being a geek and nerding out hardcore over film-making!

Love him, or hate him, you have to respect how geeky he is about the art of film!

And before we go any further, let’s not forget this bit of irony…

Regardless of how geeky, or mainstream, your interests are, you are welcome here at The Jerd.

So even though I have kind of done the whole getting to know you thing in my Mighty Jerd 101 series, let’s put it all on Front Street right now, shall we?

No more nerd-shame for who I am, or what I love! So once more…

My name is Jeff, and I am a geek.

Where should I even start?

I guess superheroes make the most sense.

I have been reading comic books for 36 years, and the only thing that is going to stop that is my eyes ceasing to be able to take in the art, and the word balloons, on the pages in front of me. I also think it is pretty safe to say that the lessons I garnered from Batman, Daredevil, and the X-Men early on in my life are the reason why I have some an over-inflated sense of fairness and justice.

I am a sword and sorcery fan!

Give me Orcs and battle-axes over Klingons and spaceships any day of the week. My childhood was filled with multiple readings of The Hobbit, The Black Cauldron, MythAdventures, and The Chronicles of Narnia. I have read The Lord of the Rings front to back more than a few times, and I even made it through The Simarillion. And of course, as an adult, A Song of Fire and Ice is definitely a thing!

I also love mythology!

I must have checked out every single book my local library had on Norse, Egyptian and Greek mythology 5 times over while I was growing up. While other children moaned and groaned in 7th grade when we were assigned Homer’s The Odyssey, I was elated; for once it was a book I had already read!

Combine those last two, and it definitely informs my love of role-playing games like Dungeons & Dragons.

And on the table-top is not the only place I love gaming. While I don’t have nearly enough time to play anymore, I love my Xbox dearly. Borderlands? You complete me. Oh, and I still stand by my statement that Ultima Online is the greatest MMORPG ever designed!

And that is just the tip of me being a geek; my nerd iceberg if you will.

What about you?

What does being a geek, or a nerd, mean to you? Do you keep your geek flag hidden, or do you wave it proudly?

Let me know below!

(Photo #1 credit, Photo #3 credit, Photo #4 credit, Photo #6 credit)

P.S. – Make sure to get your free e-book, “The 7 Fitness Obstacles Newbies Face” by subscribing to our newsletter… no spam, I promise!